


Roomba daddy

by Bicycle_creates



Category: Roomba - Fandom
Genre: Crack, Hot, Lemon, Light BDSM, Lime, Other, Smut, crackfic, i dont deserve internet, im going to hell arent i, im so so sorry, sexy roomba, what even is this, what the fuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:02:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29226681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bicycle_creates/pseuds/Bicycle_creates
Summary: You come home from a long day of work to find your roomba boyfriend waiting for you. He's happy to help you relax.I am so sorry for writing this, please have mercy:|
Relationships: reader/roomba
Kudos: 3





	Roomba daddy

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS SATIRE I PROMISE

You reach into your pocket, fumbling for your keys. The air is cold and your fingers are numb, so it takes a few tries before you can get them into the door lock properly. You open the door, banging your snowy boots against the welcome mat as you shut the door behind you. Your bag falls from your shoulder as you sigh, tiredly removing your layers of winter gear. You finally remove your boots, revealing your fuzzy socks. Your outfit is simple: a pair of jeans and a black turtleneck. It's tight but not uncomfortable, revealing all of your curves and edges in the way that your boyfriend loved.  
Speaking of him, you hear a whirring as he disengages from his charging port, whirring over to where you stood. "Hey baby," he greeted in his sensual, mechanical voice, "What's wrong?"  
"Oh it's nothing, roomba daddy."  
You both know you're lying. His giant, buff legs unfurl from his sexy circular body and he stands to be at eye level. "Y/n," he admonishes, "you don't need to lie to me."  
You sigh, leaning into his buff arms, more muscular than Michaelangelo's David. "I'm having a tough time at work, roomba daddy," you admit. "My coworkers hate me for dating a roomba."  
His eye, a red light in his black body, darkens a bit in anger. "They don't know what they're saying. But do not fret, dearest y/n, I know just how to cheer you up."  
You feel your eyebrow raise. "oh?"  
"follow me." His red orb twinkles in the light, and heat fills your core as you realize he's leading you to the bedroom. He closes the door behind you and you get the memo quickly. In moments your clothes are off and his orb roams across your body. He takes in your melons, nipples hardened in anticipation, and circles around behind to your twin moons, giving them an appreciative slap. You walk closer, and soon he pushes you onto the bed, springs groaning as it takes both of your full weights. You stare in appreciation as he unfurls his, long, meaty, eiffel tower of pleasure. It's thicker than your forearm and longer too, and it hardens immediately as your boyfriend gazes at your body. You reach out to caress it, but you cannot fit your fingers around its entire width. If roombas could smirk your boyfriend would, taking his time in slowly inserting his rod of fun into your hole of wonders. You moan as his sausage enters your hole, pushing pleasurably against your walls. His slow pace is torturous and he knows it.  
"Faster, roomba daddy," you plead, and he grins and he starts to slowly pull out.  
"beg for it."  
"Please, roomba daddy, faster!" you cry, and he is happy to oblige. the bed shakes and he pulls in and out at high speeds, and you scream in pleasure as his corn dog hits all the right places in your chamber of secrets. You close your eyes, but you don't need to be able to see as his roomba face stares you down.  
He fucks you relentlessly, the mattress squealing as it's jostled around. Finally you reach your climax, screaming out as you orgasm. He reaches it at the same time as you, and his cum fills you up, spilling out of your cavern as he lets loose. You moan as his warm life juice fills you up, and he slowly pulls out.  
"That was only the beginning."   
You smirk in anticipation as he goes to the closet, retrieving the gear you both know very intimately.   
"Do you remember our safeword, y/n?" he asks, and you nod, unable to speak as his sexy roomba body stands over you. Your safeword is 'Hillary Clinton".   
He pulls you into his lap, turning you onto your front as he unfurls the whip. "You've been bad, slut. You need to be punished."  
"Yes daddy," you respond, grabbing the bedsheets as he raises the whip. He brings it down on your spheres with a loud noise, and your moons jiggle with the impact. The pain feels so good, and your cries are a mix of pain and pleasure as the whip is brought down on your behind again. Eventually he finishes, putting aside the whip.  
"Thank you, roomba daddy," you moan, and his hand plays with one of your cheeks.  
"If you're so thankful," he growls, his low tone sending pleasure running through you, "prove it."  
You get up from his lap and he spreads his legs, making his desire clear. His javelin is still solid with desire, and you open your mouth as you move closer. You pretend his meaty schlong is a popsicle as you moth moves around it, his width barely able to fit into your mouth. your hands carress his length, moving up and down his velvet rod as he groans, gears whirring in pleasure. it is not long before he finishes, cum spurting from his tip into your mouth. You drink it down dutifully, licking his tip when you finish.  
"Thank you, roomba daddy," you say again, nipples perking in happiness.  
"you're welcome, y/n," he says, standing. "Now it's your turn."  
You squeal as he lifts you by your waist, laying you back on the bed. You look up at him as his strong finger runs along your seam, feeling the wetness already there. You don't stop your moan and his finger slips inside, massaging your walls. He removes it, and you shiver in anticipation as his face moves closer. The whirring of his vacuum sends waves of pleasure through your body as he sucks on your clit. Heat builds in your core as you almost cum, his vacuum hitting all the right spots. his finger goes back into your chamber of secrets and strokes the inside, and you truly do cum, crying out in pleasure.  
"That was fun," he says, pulling away.  
"Indeed" you respond, smiling. "Thank you, roomba daddy. I think we got all dirty doing this, How about a shower?"  
His orb lights up. "Great idea."  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
You hold the test in your hand, praying to the gods above that everything will turn out fine. The timer you had set went off, and you look at it with hope. Your heart drops as you see the two lines, signifying it was positive. Not using protection with roomba daddy got you pregnant.


End file.
